There’s a point in Peace Corps or your career, or any commitment really, when you stop counting up and you start counting down. Gone are the days with Facebook statuses exclaiming “3 months as a PCV,” or “6 month anniversary in Lesotho” and so begin the days of “only 7 more months left.” I started my countdown on January 3rd 2013.
I guess it’s a bit unfortunate that my countdown began so close to my one-year mark as a PCV. I had just spent Christmas with some fellow PCVs and for New Year’s I was in Capetown celebrating the end of 2012. Capetown reminded me a lot of the US; the mix of people from all over the world, staying in the city surrounded by different types of cuisines, feeling like I was part of something bigger than myself. You see, for the longest time I had difficulty imagining myself outside of Lesotho. I wasn’t really sure what I was going to do once I left the country (other than living under my parent’s roof) and I felt comfortable in this foreign country. I knew what I was doing, I felt reasonably happy with my work here (as much as any PCV can be), and somehow the temporariness of it made it that much more enjoyable. Until I got a taste of what life would be like when I returned and since then I have been counting down the days.
PCVs do their countdowns in various ways. Some download a countdown application on to their blackberries to constantly remind them, other create art-work such as chains where they remove a link for every day. Personally I prefer the casual countdown, in my head and usually just the number of months left: I’m leaving in December and it’s June so that’s 6 months left.
I’m not desperate to leave and I’m definitely not unhappy. It’s hard for me to describe how I feel right now than to say I’m happy with the work I’ve done, I'm excited for the projects I am yet to finish, and I'm at peace with leaving a country that has hosted me for two years. I’m appreciative of my experiences here but I’m ready and excited to move on to the next chapters of my life. In some ways I’ve lost the fantasy of being in Peace Corps and in Africa and have removed my rose colored glasses to realize how hard it is to stay in a village by yourself, to use the unpredictable and often frustrating public taxis as your sole means of transportation, and above all how lonely it is to be the only foreigner in the area. Lesotho will always be in my heart but I’m looking forward to going home. But before that I still have some work to do.
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